I decided to leave my job this year, and start travelling.
I’ve been working there for more than 6 years, and this is a big change for me too.
And here’s why I decided about it.
It’s not really fun story, so if you are not interested in me, I suggest you to not reading this post.
Renewing housing contract.
The lease company I am renting a room right now, is a useless lazy company. They say they’ve been trying to talk to me about the new contract since 2016.
For me, I didn’t get any announcement until they actually came to the house that I’m living right now.
I’ve been feeling that they are a little bit odd and weird company from the first 3 months.
And the new contract that I was informed in February was really terrible, no advantage for me. So I decided to move out.
Moving was good opportunity to quit my job.
I was a little bit tired of working there, no change, no excitement.
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been working for 6 years at a same place.
People come and get the job, teach them and work with them until they quit.
I didn’t want that anymore. I really wanted a change.
I even applied for working holiday visa in UK this January. Unfortunately, I didn’t win the opportunity. (They use lottery system to get them the chance to work there.)
I did it to change my cycle. I’ve told my boss that I might be quitting in March when I applied the visa.
I didn’t get the visa, then the lease contract problem came up. After I listened their explanation of the contract, I was sure that I’m going to move out. I didn’t wanna buy any furniture at this time, so I decided to not get a place to settle this time, so I can quit my job.
I had resolution for this year.
I don’t know if you get yourself a resolution each year. But I’ve been doing it these several years.
My resolution for 2017 is “visit other country and places as much as I can“.
Because of this, I decided to travel.
I wanted to do the backpacker, and see exotic places.
I met 3 backpackers in 2016. I was so jealous of them so much because they were doing the thing I wanted to do.
Every morning I get up, I checked their status on facebook or Instagram. I followed their trail, so I could feel like what they are feeling.
But at the same time I was tired of myself, just being jealous of their youth.
You can’t do backpacker if you get old or get children.
You can do anything you want if you are young, that’s the joy of youth.
I wanted to experience it myself.
There was no reason that keeps me here.
I live alone, I don’t have the place to go back anyway. You call home where your family lives, or where you grew up with.
It is really good to be back where you grew up, but I don’t have any good memory at school. The place I grown up is so good for me, I feel I’m home. But my actual home is not there anymore.
My mother and father divorced in 2009, I haven’t seen my father ever since. Because my mother didn’t like me to get in touch with him. That’s why I lost his contact list.
I lost my mother to suicide in 2015. It was a tough year, every discipline falls apart. The feelings that you lost your best person who would support you. We haven’t seen each other for a while, because she was moving around with her boyfriend and we had unnecessary ridiculous argument. And I was trying to catch up with her until I was informed that she died.
I have older sister and we are not close sisters. Sometimes we argue so much, we stopped talking to eatch other for years. Since she has her family now, I don’t really like to bother her.
I live on my own, and there’s nothing keeps me here. I just don’t find any excuse to stay.
I applied a visa to live with my boyfriend in Sweden, and there has been nothing going on, and I was really tired of it.
Actually there was one thing I was in my mind. A visa to Sweden.
My boyfriend is a Swedish, we lived together for 1 year and 10 months. And suddenly his visa was unable to extend anymore. So he went back to Sweden, and this time we decided to live in Sweden for a while, just to give a shot.
I applied the partner visa in June, 2015. At the same time the Syrian people escaped their country for Northern Europe countries. Since then, Syrian refugees are the priority of the immigration. Before I get to my boyfriends house, under-aged syrian refugees got there. I’m not blaming them. I blame the reason they have to move.
After waiting for 11 months patiently, I finally got myself an interview appointment at the Swedish embassy. It was in May 2016.
I’ve been waiting for the decision ever since. It’s been 10 months since I did my interview at the embassy.
We haven’t seen each other in person for more than 1 year and half. I was tired of being stuck.
I thought traveling could refresh my mind.
I wanted this year to be special.
I wanted to do something special this year. You want to know why?
Because I’m turning 30 this year. I am growing old second by second, and I can not stop that. While I think I could move my body as I order to, I wanted to do the traveling.
So my traveling chapter starts this year.
So here’s what I think about startting to travel.
Start new thing is fun, bot also scary. You put everything behind and change the environment.
It scares the hell out of me. I think of “what if~” stuffs.
“What if I lose every money I have?” “What if I ended up in a jail somehow then who’s gonna help me?”
Worrying about yourself is fine, it could protect you somehow. But too much worrying about it is not okay. It’s not okay for your mental health, it’s not okay if you can’t keep going because of your mind.
It’s okay to have a blank mind and do what you wanna do. If you wanna worry about tomorrow, worry tomorrow, not today.
I might not like traveling after all. I might come back soon. Who knows.
It’s okay to see what it feels like, if you haven’t done that before. You never knew you like it or not until actually you do that.